TM 242 - Bearer of Bad News
Aug. 11th, 2008 11:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
arrow_of_apollo242 - Write about a time that you were the bearer of bad news.
"Your father's waiting for you in his study."
When I was a kid, those were the most chilling words ever spoken, and my mother always delivered them with the kind of heavy portent that usually accompanies Oracular pronouncements and eulogies. I couldn't stand hearing those words any more than I could stand the long walk across the room from the door to the huge and heavy wood desk. My father would take off his glasses, set them down, fold his hands and wait.
I always knew why I was being sent to my father's study. As you'd guess, it typically had something to do with my getting in trouble. Maybe I'd gotten into a fight at school, or broken a flower pot in the backyard tossing the Pyramid ball around. When my parents got divorced, the little boy inside of me was glad that I'd never again have to make that walk and hear those words.
After the Cylon attack, I came to enjoy coming to the Admiral's quarters for meetings and talks. My father and I, in the middle of this insanity, found a kind of rapport that we had never managed before everything ended. Sometimes, I would come bearing a stack half as tall as I was of paperwork. And other times, it would just be to chat, very often over a glass of something strong.
I knew the meeting would be tense when I walked into it. Baltar's trial was in full swing, and Saul Tigh had taken the stand, drunk to the gills and been broken down, not that he needed Lampkin's help. But I was hoping that my father and I would be able to maintain our professionalism.
He blamed me for Tigh, accused me of feeding Lampkin privileged information about the Colonel and his wife and New Caprica-- things I couldn't have known. He called me a liar. He called me a coward.
My hand was up and my fingers on my wings before I realized it, but even when the gravity of what I was about to do hit me, I didn't hesitate. I knew damn well what I was saying and what I was telling my father, without equivocation. And I took those wings off and put them on that huge and heavy desk, standing my ground.
That was how I told my father that I was resigning my commission.
And now I find I'm afraid of that walk again.
(402, not counting direct quotes)
"Your father's waiting for you in his study."
When I was a kid, those were the most chilling words ever spoken, and my mother always delivered them with the kind of heavy portent that usually accompanies Oracular pronouncements and eulogies. I couldn't stand hearing those words any more than I could stand the long walk across the room from the door to the huge and heavy wood desk. My father would take off his glasses, set them down, fold his hands and wait.
I always knew why I was being sent to my father's study. As you'd guess, it typically had something to do with my getting in trouble. Maybe I'd gotten into a fight at school, or broken a flower pot in the backyard tossing the Pyramid ball around. When my parents got divorced, the little boy inside of me was glad that I'd never again have to make that walk and hear those words.
After the Cylon attack, I came to enjoy coming to the Admiral's quarters for meetings and talks. My father and I, in the middle of this insanity, found a kind of rapport that we had never managed before everything ended. Sometimes, I would come bearing a stack half as tall as I was of paperwork. And other times, it would just be to chat, very often over a glass of something strong.
I knew the meeting would be tense when I walked into it. Baltar's trial was in full swing, and Saul Tigh had taken the stand, drunk to the gills and been broken down, not that he needed Lampkin's help. But I was hoping that my father and I would be able to maintain our professionalism.
He blamed me for Tigh, accused me of feeding Lampkin privileged information about the Colonel and his wife and New Caprica-- things I couldn't have known. He called me a liar. He called me a coward.
My hand was up and my fingers on my wings before I realized it, but even when the gravity of what I was about to do hit me, I didn't hesitate. I knew damn well what I was saying and what I was telling my father, without equivocation. And I took those wings off and put them on that huge and heavy desk, standing my ground.
That was how I told my father that I was resigning my commission.
And now I find I'm afraid of that walk again.
(402, not counting direct quotes)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-08-11 10:01 pm (UTC)You once told me that you thought it was never a mistake to follow your heart. I've come to believe that it's never a mistake to follow your conscience, even if your conscience might tell you something different than your father's might tell him, or mine might tell me.
OOC: Welcome back, by the way! You were missed!
no subject
Date: 2008-08-11 10:30 pm (UTC)I believe those are both true.
OOC: Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2008-08-12 01:09 am (UTC)If not, I wouldn't recommend it.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-12 06:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-12 06:10 am (UTC)*contemplates* Can I ask you something that's absolutely none of my business?
no subject
Date: 2008-08-12 06:27 pm (UTC)Ask away.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-12 06:57 pm (UTC)Thank the Gods.[locked to Lee]
As I said, it's really none of my business, so it's not a question you should feel obligated to answer.
*pauses*
What was your mother like?
OOC: I wish I had another L/L icon.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-12 08:43 pm (UTC)[locked]
No, it's all right. She was... frustrated. My mother wanted a lot of things that just didn't end up being the things that life gave her, and I don't think she was ever really able to accept that.
She loved me and my brother, I know that. And at least part of her loved my Dad. But I don't think she ever got over the disappointment.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-12 09:54 pm (UTC)as we both well know.[locked]
I can understand disappointment. When I set foot on Galactica for the first time, I was still coming to terms with the fact that after I had left teaching, I had pretty much squandered my life.
You're frustrating sometimes, Lee. But you're worth it, and I'm sure your mother felt the same way and your father does feel the same way.
It's funny. In spite of everything, I don't think your father's ever disappointed me. There are things that have been said and done between us that, had it been anyone else, I would have been disappointed. But it was always just Bill being Bill. I don't think I could ever be disappointed in that.
*She looks at him, a wry expression on her face and a twinkle in her eye.*
Doesn't make sense, does it? Or maybe too much information?
no subject
Date: 2008-08-13 06:56 am (UTC)We do. So far, his would-be manipulations have worked on me, but that's because I wanted the result, anyway.[locked]
It makes plenty of sense, ma'am. And it might be too much... *smirks* If we didn't all already sort of know.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-13 03:14 pm (UTC)[locked]
Smartass.
There was nothing for anyone to know. You all really should find better things to do, you're the people defending this Fleet.
Tell me there's not a pool.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-13 04:48 pm (UTC)Yes, ma'am.
If you say so.
No, Madam President. Not anymore.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-13 05:12 pm (UTC)If I were you, I'd take a look at the exact wording of whatever pools there are before you declare any winners.
*devilish glint*
Depending on what your father and I have to have done to make someone a winner, that is.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-13 06:12 pm (UTC)*grins* If such things exist, I would certainly do that.
And if they existed, I couldn't tell you, could I? It'd spoil the odds.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-13 06:43 pm (UTC)There's less going on than one might think. At the moment.
Then again, if someone had asked me, I never would have laid money on him allowing the Fleet to leave him to wait for me. I don't know how to feel about that. Seeing him step off that Raptor meant a lot to me, Lee, and still does.
I don't want to hurt him and it's the most probable outcome.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-13 08:43 pm (UTC)Yes, ma'am. *keeps grinning*
Madam President, if I might offer some advice? You can't worry about all the possible outcomes in this any more than you can leading the fleet. Make the best decision you can for the right now.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-13 09:38 pm (UTC)*smiles ruefully*
It was easier the first time. I can't help but worry about what's best, what's fair. I saw the look on his face when I... I wouldn't take that look back even for a clean bill of health. But is it worth it, for him?
What would you do if you were in my place?
no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 06:26 am (UTC)Me? Now that my father and I are where we are? I'd do anything I could to keep him near for as long as I get to have him.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 10:35 am (UTC)And if you knew for sure that you were going to lose him?
no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 03:31 pm (UTC)I'd hold on tighter. Between his distance and my anger, I didn't really have my father for years. Now I know what I was missing.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 04:46 pm (UTC)If you're anything like him with regards to... these matters-
*sighs*
He won't face it. I can't talk about it. He needs me to not talk about it.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 06:40 pm (UTC)He needs, or he wants? Sometimes, he does need to be stood up to.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 07:06 pm (UTC)*grimace*
I didn't exactly choose the best time to try to stand up to him.
I need to do whatever will make him hurt less. If that means not talking about, I can do that. I'm not the one who's going to have to deal with the after.
And then sometimes I'm so terrified-
*looks him in the eye*
It's so good to have you back, Delegate Apollo.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 10:34 pm (UTC)*avoids asking just what the hell she's talking about*
It just doesn't have the same ring as "Captain", does it?
no subject
Date: 2008-08-14 10:59 pm (UTC)*regains her control and smiles her politician's smile with genuine warmth*
Captain Apollo, I believe, was never quite comfortable in his own skin. Delegate Apollo may be a little unsure of himself, but he's his own man.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: