TM 238 - Freudian Slip

[arrow_of_apollo]

238 - Freudian Slip

"Hey, hey, you got lucky, Starbuck. If I were you, I would seriously consider buying a--"

Frak.


Frak, frak, frak. What in the gods' name did I just do?

That was Maggie talking. Her callsign is Racetrack. Racetrack. Not Starbuck. Starbuck's dead. Kara is dead, and it was Racetrack talking to Athena about the explosion in the Raptor that killed Baltar's lawyer and nearly took out Racetrack herself.

And it was me, Lee Adama, callsign Apollo, who said the wrong godsdamn dame.

I've got to pull it together. I'm the CAG.

Not that I ever asked for that.

I'm a Major in the Colonial Fleet.

Not that I ever asked for that, either.

I have to pull it together. I'm not Sam Anders, I can't get frak-faced drunk and climb up onto a Viper and shout and scream and tear my heart out the way it feels for me, anyway.

As much as I want to.

They're all whispering. They all heard, and they're all wondering if I'm going to crack. I can't crack. I can hold it together.

"Racetrack. I'm sorry. Dismissed. Dismissed."


(165, not including direct quotes)

Comments

[laura-muse.livejournal.com]

Considering the circumstances, I think you're being far too hard on yourself. Whatever else you and Captain Thrace were to each other, you were good friends and she was a link to your brother and a bridge to your father when he decided to be deliberately impossible when it came to you.

I realize I have no business giving you this advice, but I'm going to advise you to do as I say and not as I do and tell you that the tree that doesn't bend will break. You need to let yourself bend.

And do both yourself and your father a favor and let the others fly the CAP for a while. The one thing Bill won't come back from is losing you, too.

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

No, no, Madam President, thank you for saying that.

And I'll do my best.

[wants-to-resist.livejournal.com]

And I'm not you. We all frak up. Besides, I heard you pulled a good one one night losing your wedding ring?

*is slightly angry*

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

Not my finest hour.

[wants-to-resist.livejournal.com]

I'd say.

[arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com]

Of course, it seems getting frak-faced drunk is a pastime on this ship.

[wants-to-resist.livejournal.com]

Apparently.