arrow_of_apollo | TM 157 - What is your worst quality as a significant other?

157 - What is your worst quality as a significant other?

((Contains spoilers through episode 3x10. Locked from all muses.))

Frak. Just great. Can't I go back to talking about battlestars and dogfights and stuff like that? I have to talk about this?

Fine.

I realize that now with things the way there are, what with the human race numbering somewhere in the neighborhood of 47,000 souls or so, the dating pool has been thinned pretty significantly. But that doesn't mean there aren't dozens or even hundreds of good, nice, sweet and sympathetic women out in that fleet with whom a normal, healthy relationship is actually possible.

Somehow, I don't seem to be able to find them very well.

I honestly don't know what the problem is, but I think I've gotten it narrowed down to two possibilities: first, something about me must attract women whose natures aren't as stable or well-adjusted as they should be. I can accept that, even work around it. The second option is, of course, that there's something about me that actually wants to go out and find the kind of woman that I keep finding.

Shevon I didn't understand in the least, and I still can't. I could have given her so much, made her and Paya's life so much easier and simpler. How could a woman choose a life for her-- and her daughter-- living on a ship like Cloud Nine, doing what she did to pay the bills? On the Galactica, with me, they would have been safe and protected, and a world away from the black market and the crime and the monsters that wanted to buy that little girl. I offered, and she turned me down, wanting to stay down there, in the shadows and the dark.

Kara, of course, is the goddess of the bunch. I didn't understand what was so complicated about the idea-- her marriage to Sam was a joke, a sham, and not a bit of it was left that was worth hanging onto. They barely saw each other, barely spoke, and I knew that she didn't love him anymore, if she ever did. Doesn't the absence of any semblance of what makes a marriage negate that marriage in everything but law? It seemed such a simple answer to me.

Gianne, well... I hurt her, and I acknowledge that. I admit it. I'm not proud of what I did, and of how I treated Gianne, but I was scared and confused. And I gods damn well didn't think that I'd never see her again. It was wrong. Very wrong. And the less said about that, the better.

Dee, naturally, is the exception. She's a good woman. My wife is smart, caring, funny and loving. In more than a few ways, I don't deserve her or what we have together. When I needed someone like her to be part of my life, she saved me from the place I'd gone after New Caprica. I... I don't feel for her the way I do about Kara, but that doesn't stop me from loving her, in a way, and it definitely doesn't change the fact that I owe her too much to cheat on her again.

Maybe after Kara pushes me away again-- and she will-- maybe I should just give women up altogether.

(543)