Vulnerability ((RP for [livejournal.com profile] number_eight))

Mar. 2nd, 2009 04:01 pm
arrow_of_apollo: (Civilian | Working)
[personal profile] arrow_of_apollo
Full circle. A lot of things had a tendency to circle around, Lee was beginning to realize, and very rarely in a good way. The whole "all of this has happened before, all of this will happen again" stuff was starting to get really frakking annoying, especially because it kept costing the fleet and the human race lives, time and everything else it could take.

With the strange political arrangement he had with President Roslin, Lee was constantly splitting his time between Colonial One and Galactica, so to conserve on Raptor fuel, he'd been assigned quarters on board the battlestar. Even though he'd volunteered to take a simple rack, the Admiral had insisted he get a junior officer's locker. Lee suspected it was partly, even if unconsciously, a message that he wasn't a soldier anymore, and didn't get to live like one.

That godsdamned circle had also brought back Ellen Tigh-- the final Cylon, as if the gods didn't already obviously have a frakking twisted sense of humor-- and the Eight model he'd met as Boomer, the one who'd nearly murdered Lee's father. And now, one more time, Boomer had betrayed them, stealing the Agathons' child, Hera, the only living human-Cylon hybrid.

Lee was reading the report on Boomer's escape, cursing quietly when a knock sounded at the hatch to his quarters. With nobody expected at this hour, Lee rose and approached the hatch. A sidearm he wasn't technically supposed to own was within reach. "Marines?" he called out to the guards stationed outside the hatch.

"We're here, Mr. Vice-President," came the confident reply. "Lieutenant Agathon is requesting to see you. Code is Nebula Three Victor," the Marine added, giving Lee the all-clear signal. Lee sighed. Sharon. She was going to be a mess, so he could only hope he could help.

"Let her in," Lee ordered, then stepped back from the heavy hatch.

Date: 2009-03-03 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] number-eight.livejournal.com
Sharon didn't know what to do. How had Boomer taken Hera? Who had helped her? Someone must have, it was the only way, right? Or she could have just fooled everyone into thinking she was "Athena", the way she'd fooled Helo into it.

Oh God, she didn't want to think about that. She didn't want to think, which was why she was back to see Lee again. The last time they talked (http://arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com/32472.html), he'd been drunk, mourning Dee. He'd wanted to hurt Sharon so he could forget.

Now, Sharon didn't know what to do. Her one constant with their relationship was that Lee loved Dee, and she loved Helo, and there wasn't anything they could do about it. But Dee was dead, leaving Lee confused and hurt. And right now, after what Boomer did with Helo? She didn't know where she stood with her own husband. Her daughter was gone.

But she had Lee.

"Hi," she started out as she entered and the hatch door shut behind her. Then, she fell into a mess of tears on her knees, losing any sort of strength she'd had to keep it together.

"He frakked her, Lee. He frakked her, right in front of me, didn't even know it wasn't me, didn't... and she took my daughter..." Sharon was where Lee had been a few weeks back.

"I don't have anything anymore."

Date: 2009-03-03 04:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com
He was down on the deck beside her almost as soon as Sharon was. Lee knew the moment that Sharon was the one on the other side of the hatch that she was going to be in a bad way and for once, he was expecting the breakdown. Looping his arms around her as she sobbed, Lee was reminded for the first time in a long while just how much smaller she was than him, physically. Sharon's strength and presence usually commanded his attention so much that her height and slight build rarely entered his mind. But like this, kneeling on the deck and a mess, Sharon suddenly felt much smaller.

"I didn't know," he told Sharon, "about Helo."

The man must have been a wreck, Lee guessed. Every husband in the universe probably believed that they'd know their wife from any other woman in existence, no matter what they looked like, but nobody else in the universe but Karl Agathon had a wife with thousands of exact genetic copies.

Kissing Sharon's forehead, Lee held her tighter. This wasn't what they were about, he tried to remind himself. He and Sharon weren't a couple, they didn't come to each other for solace or understanding, they came to each other to take out frustrations, or to punish themselves, or just because they couldn't stop. But he couldn't stop this, either, not in that moment.

"You have a lot," Lee insisted. "You're an officer, and a pilot. And you have a husband you still love, no matter what. And you have a daughter you can find. And you have an enemy-- the one who took things from you is someone you can find and punish," he said bitterly. Lee didn't have anyone he could blame for Dee.

"And for what it's worth, whatever it is, you still have this."

Date: 2009-03-03 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] number-eight.livejournal.com
She shook her head, almost violently, trying to disregard everything Lee was saying. Although the kiss on the forehead... that was nice. That was what she'd wanted, someone who could hold her and tell her everything would be fine somehow even though she knew it wouldn't be -- couldn't ever be.

"I can't trust him," she whispered, wiping away at the tears still there as Lee held her. "I don't love him, I don't, I can't, not now, not after watching and hearing..."

Sharon looked up at Lee, her hands reaching for his face as she kissed his lips while her own trembled. "I have this, yes, I do, I have you. I have someone who would never do... that to me." She paused and gazed into his eyes.

"You would have known. You would have known it wasn't me, because you know me. You know Boomer, and there weren't feelings for Boomer that you had mixed up with what we've got, you would have known and you..."

Her lips found his again as she still cried. "Make love to me, Lee. Please. Make it better, make me forget.... show me that there's still one human in the universe who knows me..."
Edited Date: 2009-03-03 06:40 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-03-03 07:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com
"You think that now," Lee insisted, "but not forever."

He couldn't imagine what it had been like. That part hadn't been in the official report, so Sharon must have been trying to protect her husband's reputation. All it had said was that she'd been knocked out by Boomer and trussed up in the head while Boomer convinced Helo she was Athena. Clearly, she'd convinced him in a very personal way, and Sharon had to watch. Lee still believed she'd forgive him. Dee had never had to watch him frak Kara, but she knew, and had put up with their bullshit for a long time, and she'd still loved him.

When Sharon kissed him, he didn't recognize the look in her eyes. It was desperate and searching... and frightened. Lee had never seen the woman scared of anything; angry, yes and definitely desperate, but not this. He'd been something for her to hold onto before, but now, it looked like she was drowning and looking for him to save her.

It was wrong. He shouldn't be the one. But right then and there, Lee wasn't sure there was anyone else she would let save her. Lee did the only thing he could.

Lee lifted her easily off the floor, still amazed at how small and fragile she felt now. He was finally returning her kisses, all of them salt-stained with her tears. Laying Sharon down on the rack, Lee kicked off his shoes and climbed in beside her. "I'm here," he said quietly, hand rising to hold her face and pull her to him.

Date: 2009-03-03 08:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] number-eight.livejournal.com
Sharon let Lee do everything. Kiss her, touch her, carry her away and off the floor. She clung to him desperately, certain that the only thing in the universe that made any sense right now was the one thing that had never made sense.

In her mind, without Dee or Helo, without her daughter, then she didn't have to worry about doing the right thing anymore. She could just let go, the way Lee always said to. So she did, as she held his face, too, pressing her lips hungrily against his as her body closed the gap until there wasn't any space left.

She nodded at him through her kisses. He was here. He wouldn't leave. He wouldn't hurt her the way Helo had. Sharon wrapped a leg around his waist as she rested on her side and moaned into his mouth, her tongue touching his lightly until she gave that up, too, and grasped Lee's whole body.

He could make it better...

Date: 2009-03-03 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com
Lee knew that hold, understood what it was driving her arms and legs to wrap themselves around him. He'd been there before, been drowning and sinking all at once and in painful, frantic need for something or someone to hold onto. Dee had been his lifeline, but he had never had to face the things Sharon was facing right then. It was a painful realization, seeing the things he'd experienced in someone else. It convinced him even more surely that giving in to what Sharon said she wanted was the wrong thing to do.

But right and wrong had never been his strong suit, not when it came to Sharon Agathon. Everything about them was wrong, and as she pressed herself to him, clutched him tightly, Lee knew that wasn't about to change.

Her holding on to him made things difficult for a bit. There was almost no space for Lee to get his hands to her, onto her clothes and her body. Lee pulled hard and fast at her tank top and shirt. The way she had begged him, calling it "making love", Lee had wanted to go more slowly, but the desperation was sinking in, for both of them. Sharon's bra followed quickly, and Lee pressed his mouth to her breasts in turn.

Date: 2009-03-03 09:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] number-eight.livejournal.com
She gasped at the touch of his mouth, warm and wet and exactly what she'd been missing. Sharon's fingers held Lee's head to her breast for a bit, shutting her eyes to the world and just feeling everything, the hunger and need and God, his mouth...

"Frak," she moaned aloud, twisting them so that Lee was on top of her, so he could do things to her (not hit her face, not like last time, that was for him, to make him feel something so he wouldn't be numb....)

She tried to push the rest of her clothes off, all while pushing at Lee's, too. She didn't want frakking, she told herself. Frakking was what Helo and Boomer had done. What she wanted was Lee making love to her, making her feel better, and Sharon forgot for a moment that she was using him the same way she ended up using everyone else in her life.

She pulled his mouth up to hers and there were tears still there as she kissed him, finally breathing. "Please, Lee, please..."

Sharon didn't know how many more times she could beg him for it before she started crying all over again.

Date: 2009-03-03 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com
They were naked quickly. Lee didn't miss the fact that under other circumstances, what would pass for "normal" circumstances for him and Sharon, they wouldn't necessarily be all that concerned with taking off their clothes, just with getting far enough to frak. But the kisses she kept pressing against his mouth were a clear message that Sharon didn't want to frak. And Lee was not going to frak her, even if he didn't really understand why.

She needed this, he kept repeating to himself. Sharon needed this, the way he had needed to hurt someone and make them take away his grief, even for a little while. He could do this for her, give this to her. It wasn't about him.

It wasn't, Lee repeated to himself.

Lee settled between her legs and reached a hand down, fingers finding Sharon's sex. His hand worked for a few moments, wanting to make sure she was ready, at least a little, even if her kisses and hands were growing in insistence. Finally, he pressed himself against her warmth and slid home, burying his length in her. Lee groaned with the contact.

Date: 2009-03-03 10:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] number-eight.livejournal.com
"God, yes," she whispered as her legs wound around his waist and she pulled him inside her even more, squeezing him as she placed a kiss on his lips that was soft and gentle. Complete contrasts.

Sharon's hands found his hair and she held his head in place as her lips brushed against his, her head moving left and right so the contact was barely there, always teasing. It forced a moan out of her, until she finally had to slip her tongue inside of Lee's mouth and run her hands down his back, to the muscles in his arms, back up to his face.

Her tears were drying now, and she lifted her lips up a bit as she clung to him.

"Tell me," she groaned between each movement of her hips, "tell me, Lee... please, tell me who you're making... love to..."

She didn't even realize it was an almost identical conversation to the first one they'd had when he'd been drunk and she'd wanted him to say her name.

Date: 2009-03-03 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com
Lee grit his teeth as Sharon bore down on him. Over time, he'd learned to expect it, even enjoy it when she did something like that, but then most of the other times they'd had sex, it had been a lot about exchanging those kinds of sensations. This was different, the light kiss that Sharon gave him being just one more example of it, and he wasn't expecting it. But like he kept telling himself, this wasn't about him.

He felt her legs lift, felt her hips moving against his in time, making his strokes that much longer, that much deeper. They were rolling together like lovers instead of whatever else they were.

When she spoke, his head was down, mouth working over her neck and collarbone. Lee looked up at her, taking a second or two to understand what she was asking. He'd called her by name, they'd spoken... he knew who she was, and it wasn't as though Boomer could have known...

Of course.

Lee shifted slightly, feeling her surround him with warmth and wetness.

"Athena," he said, breathless. The name she'd come to claim as her own.

Date: 2009-03-04 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] number-eight.livejournal.com
Her hips writhed underneath Lee's weight, and when he said her name -- not Sharon, not Eight... not Boomer, not toaster or Cylon or any other word she'd come to hate in the past few hours -- when he called her "Athena", she smiled a little before her head lolled backwards.

"Apollo," she whispered back to him, even though he technically wasn't, not anymore. But in her mind, he was always Apollo, the sun god, the golden child, the one beloved by everyone. The one everyone looked up to. Maybe he didn't like the name anymore now that he was a civilian, but it didn't make it any less true in terms of who he was.

"Lee," she added, just in case, though, as her eyes opened and her mouth found his neck, licking the skin there before sucking on it the way she might have sucked on other parts of him... as she pulled back, Sharon grabbed one of his fingers and slipped it into her mouth, hips always moving against his, as she licked his finger. Eyes locked, she moaned around his finger before slipping it out of her mouth.

Date: 2009-03-04 06:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com
Apollo. No one had called Lee that since his technically-stolen Viper had touched down on the flight deck next to the shining new Mark V that had brought Starbuck back to the fleet. It was a part of his life that he'd left behind what now seemed like ages ago, but he knew that it would always be a part of him. He would always be defined, at least in part, by all the good and bad things that came with being Apollo. One day, he hoped he would be all right with that.

At the moment, though, all his thoughts and sensations were centered on the woman writhing beneath him. Sharon was greedy for the things he was making her feel, taking everything Lee had to give her. It was a place he had been before, with Kara. He didn't like it, and it was a sour thought until her mouth found his neck. Lee watched as Sharon gave him a show, sucking on his finger.

She wanted to give some back. That was new. And it also made him want to give more to Sharon. Somehow, maybe, they would end up feeding each other. And so he reached down to one of her legs, tugging it upwards until Lee had it hooked over his arm, driving him deeper inside of her.

Date: 2009-03-04 06:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] number-eight.livejournal.com
He moved her and Sharon felt him deeper in her, but his pac wasn't as fast as their other times of frakking. It wasn't completely leisurely, either... somewhere in the middle, which she supposed, was where their relationship was right now.

"Lee..." She pulled his face closer to hers even as she was twisted around. Reaching upwards, Sharon kissed him again, murmuring his name lovingly against his lips over and over.

"God, yes, love this.... you..." She was too far gone in the moment of lust that Sharon didn't realize what she was saying to him, or that it could be taken the wrong way. All she knew was that Lee Adama was the one man in the universe who could make her hurt, make her feel, make her need the way no one else could.

And right now, he was the only man she trusted, too.

Date: 2009-03-04 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com
Lee didn't really understand-- couldn't understand-- the way things had turned between them. If he were ever able to be totally honest with himself, maybe Lee would know that he didn't even want to understand it fully. Not when Sharon took away his pain, either by soothing him with her body or letting him use her and transfer that pain onto her. He didn't know how he could keep going, having to shoulder his pain alone.

So when words that were wrong sounding and wrong feeling began to spill from Sharon's lips, Lee ignored them. He pretended not to hear them in the middle of sighs and groans and ragged breaths. Sharon's body rippled around him and under him while gave the longest, most complete strokes into her he could.

He was, from the beginning, acutely aware of how bad an idea this was. But it was clear they were both too far gone to recover. Lee kissed her deeply, deciding that if he they were going to hell, they might as well enjoy the ride.

Date: 2009-03-04 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] number-eight.livejournal.com
She pressed herself closer to him, her hips moving in small circles as Lee kissed her, and then it hit her. Sharon gasped into his mouth, holding his face, and this time she couldn't stop the tars. Why had they come back? From the pleasure, the softness of their lovemaking?

Her muscles rippled around him over and over as she cried, wanting more from Lee. He was making love to her, like she'd needed, like she'd asked, begged of him, but she still wanted more. As Sharon's moans finally stopped, she blinked her eyes and stared into Lee's, nodding her head.

"Come inside me, please. I need to feel it. I need to feel you," she corrected, a hand tracing his check until she moved her other leg over his shoulder so she was bent in half.

Date: 2009-03-04 09:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arrow-of-apollo.livejournal.com
Lee knew the feeling, could tell it was happening every time. Under him and all around him, Sharon's body started to shiver, an orgasm signaling that it was on its way, and quickly. His hips were grinding now against her body, as if he wanted to have as much of himself inside of her for as long as possible. And that was probably a damn good description of the way he felt. Maybe if they could hang on for long enough, they'd keep from drowning.

When Sharon pleaded for him to come, Lee didn't hesitate, waiting only for her as she shifted their position even more. Both knees hooked on Lee's broad shoulders, Sharon was collapsed into a small mass of herself, still moving with him. She was so tight on him and he was so deep there was just the littlest bit of hurt, which seemed to just put an edge on their lovemaking.

It was only a few more strokes before Lee's climax rushed its way through his body. "Now," he gasped. "I'm coming, Sharon... I'm coming..."

His body arched as things broke. In three great heaves, he released inside of her, coming as hard as he thought he might ever have. Sharon seemed to follow. There were long aftershocks during which Lee just released Sharon's legs and held her close. He kissed her. "You don't have to go," Lee whispered, anticipating the question.

Date: 2009-03-04 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] number-eight.livejournal.com
"Thank you," she whispered between kisses as Lee held her, and it wasn't a 'thanks' for what they had just done. It was for the offer. She touched him gently, feeling more like herself in a long time. Not broken. Not hurting.

Usually, they frakked to feel something or to forget. This time, Sharon had wanted to just be herself with someone. She cuddled into Lee (cuddled?) and didn't want to let go of him, didn't want to leave. So the offer was exactly what she needed.

Somehow, Lee always knew what she needed.

"I'd like to stay," she told him, huge eyes looking into his as her legs entwined with his legs, and she tried to get every part of her body closer to Lee. He had felt so good coming inside her, just a touch of pain there with the pleasure.

Her lips found his and she brushed against his mouth softly once more. "Thank you, Lee."

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