arrow_of_apollo: (Soldier | In Hack)
287 - Prison

They won't let me wash the blood off my hands.

All right, they're not going to let me go to godsdamn sickbay so I can be there with my father while he's fighting for his frakking life. Tigh's being an ass and trying to be a commanding officer, and I should expect that from him. All right, they're going to throw me in hack, probably for the little time left on my misbegotten military career. I was expecting that after what I did for President Roslin.

But I've got my frakking father's blood on my hands. Frak, my arms are red almost to the godsdamn elbows and they still won't frakking let me wash it off!

It's not like I haven't seen the inside of a brig before. You're not friends with Kara Thrace and not occasionally get a remind what it's like behind bars. But it's different. Everything's smaller. Colder. Closer in. Somewhere on this tin can, my father is taking what might be his last breaths through lungs that might be shredded by some frakking toaster's bullets, and I can't even be there to watch him die.

President Roslin in the cell next door keeps wondering out loud how the Old Man is doing. She's worried, I can see it. More than that, I can hear it in her voice and I don't think I've ever heard Laura Roslin this shaken up.

And wouldn't you frakking know it, she can't stop staring at my hands.

Neither can I.

It's dry now, red turned almost black, flaking off at the edges. I have my father's blood on my hands, and all I'm thinking about are the things I can't tell him. I can't tell him how sorry I am that I had to disobey Tigh's orders, but that I'm not sorry I did. I can't tell him how much I've come to understand and appreciate the man he is and the person he was, and how grateful I am for the things that I think he was starting to understand about me.

I can't tell him I'd never leave, either.

Sitting down on the hard steel bench, I don't know what's going to happen next. All I can guess is that it's going to get a hell of a lot worse before it gets better.

(386)
arrow_of_apollo: (Soldier | Sitting Pouting)
284 - Talk about a time you were forced out of something.

"I will not serve under a man who questions my integrity."

"And I won't have an officer under my command who doesn't have any."


Integrity.

Honor.

Loyalty.

Central precepts of the Colonial Fleet-- in fact, of military service throughout human history. They are the pillars upon which every soldier must stand, from the greenest crewman signing his name on the roll up to the Admiral with more stars on her uniform than buttons. Without these things, the Colonial Fleet is nothing more than a bunch of hired guns.

They're also much less clear-cut and concrete concepts than they mention in Basic Training.

Upstanding )

(468, not counting direct quotes)
arrow_of_apollo: (Soldier | Outside Angry)
264 - "The past is never dead. It's not even past." William Faulkner, Requiem for a Nun.

You know how some people say that just before you die, your life flashes before your eyes? It actually can, sometimes. There was one time, though, when my life didn't exactly flash as much as it unspooled in slow and agonizing detail, during the longest Viper flight of my life.

Revisited )

(545, not counting direct quotes)
arrow_of_apollo: (Adama | Civilian | Kiss on Forehead)
What do you get a man with his own battlestar?
arrow_of_apollo: (Adama | Civilian | Father and Son)
242 - Write about a time that you were the bearer of bad news.

"Your father's waiting for you in his study."

When I was a kid, those were the most chilling words ever spoken, and my mother always delivered them with the kind of heavy portent that usually accompanies Oracular pronouncements and eulogies. I couldn't stand hearing those words any more than I could stand the long walk across the room from the door to the huge and heavy wood desk. My father would take off his glasses, set them down, fold his hands and wait.

On the spot )

(402, not counting direct quotes)
arrow_of_apollo: (Civilian | Climbing Out of Viper)
230 - Black and white

I can't tell you how many times I watched it. Fifty? Way too few. Five hundred? Maybe not that many. Maybe so.

I asked one of my flight instructors once why gun camera footage was always in black and white. He said something about recording and file compression, and things you can see well in contrast. I just always thought it would be better, if you're trying to figure out what happened during a fight or review your flying, to be able to see the scene as it actually happened.

Now I'm damn glad I couldn't.

Repeat viewings )

(343)
arrow_of_apollo: (Soldier | Viper In Tube)
228 - Three A.M.

There's not a lot of places to go on a battlestar when you can't sleep, especially when it's just before some big, important mission. I found myself on the flight deck, staring at the fighter craft I would be strapping into just a few hours from then, going on what on paper looked like a suicide mission. It involved a dozen kinds of risks, and relied on good luck way more than any War College professor would have allowed.

But then, it was Kara's plan.

Jitters )

(431, not counting direct quote)
arrow_of_apollo: (Soldier)
219 - Headlines

Battlestar Galactica to be Decommissioned


It was the lead story in the Fleet newsletter a month before the Cylon attack. I was actually on leave, sitting in a sidewalk cafe on Picon and sipping my coffee, trying very hard not to look like a soldier on leave. In retrospect, I was doing a horrible job, considering my reading material, but I guess that's not even the littlest bit important now.

History )

(344)
arrow_of_apollo: (Adama Zak & Lee Photo)
208 - Four

An excerpt from the cover article of Fleet Family magazine, approximately fifteen years before the Cylon attack.

"It's All About Balance"

Those are the words of Colonel William Adama, when asked how the newly-promoted and newly-assigned Executive Officer of the battlestar Columbia manages to be both a full-time career officer of the Fleet and a husband and father of two energetic boys. It's a particularly apt bit of advice, as Col. Adama was, at the time of the question being asked, making his way across the small pond outside of his Caprica City home, walking from one small and seemingly precarious stepping stone to the next.

Family portrait )

(610)
arrow_of_apollo: (Adama Father and Son)
Sorry for the lateness, Dad. But hopefully it was a good day.
arrow_of_apollo: (Memorial Wall)
200 - Lyric prompt, "Visions of Johanna", Bob Dylan:

And when bringing her name up
He speaks of a farewell kiss to me
He's sure got a lotta gall to be so useless and all
Muttering small talk at the wall while I'm in the hall


[Private]

One thing I'm not supposed to do as an officer, and especially as CAG is show any kind of favoritism to any one or group of my pilots. Of course, there's plenty of reasons to look at the rules a little loosely, under the circumstances of our particular situation, but there are lots of reasons to keep some military discipline, too.

But when something happens that shakes the whole damn ship, is it any wonder that I could cut someone some extra slack?

What about when something happens that tears the hell out of my heart, too?

Denial, anger and depression we got. Can't help you with the rest. )

(582)
arrow_of_apollo: (Dress Uniform Line)
195 - What makes someone a hero? What makes someone a villain?

((Set directly after the events of episode 3x08, "Hero"))

[Private entry]

They gave my father a medal today.

The Colonial Medal of Distinction was presented on this day to Rear Admiral William Adama on behalf of the grateful remnants of the human race in recognition of the rescue of tens of thousands from New Caprica and for forty-five years of "courageous service to the Colonial Fleet". President Roslin called him a hero, and I can't possibly find it in myself to sit here and disagree.

I can't help but wonder how much it weighed )

(422, not counting direct quote)
arrow_of_apollo: (Adama Zak & Lee Photo)
190 - You've temporarily turned into a child -- what do you do?

Well, first I have to say that I don't know how people do it, raising a child on board a battlestar. I mean, it's not as though the ship hadn't already been designed with a small space for a day care center, or as though Colonial Fleet protocol didn't cover something like parenthood and child care, but both of those resources were designed for people who could at least periodically, if not regularly, get themselves and their kids out onto a planet for a stretch.

The kids in there now, they may never walk planetside in their entire lives. Even though Galactica has artificial gravity and the most sophisticated recycling and reclamation system in the fleet, they might never know what it's like to stand on real ground or breathe fresh air.

I have to hand it to the parents on this ship. I bet I'd be worried sick.

I'll stop avoiding the question now )

(394)
arrow_of_apollo: (Adama Zak & Lee Photo)
171 - What is the biggest mistake you've made in a relationship?

I let him do it.

Sometimes, when something terrible happens, people look back at the circumstances that led up that something and think to themselves, well, we never saw it coming. There weren't any clues to the way things turned out, no great big flashing signs that said "BAD IDEA" or "TURN BACK NOW". A person steps of the curb to cross the street and gets hit by a speeding truck, or one day your doctor sits you down and tells you that you've somehow contracted a mysterious illness. We can comfort ourselves with knowing that there had been no way to prepare for it.

But what about when you see the flashing signs, and the clues are everywhere around you, in plain sight? What about when you see the truck coming? You would think that a person would do something about it, right? They'd stop or turn around, they'd stay the hell on the sidewalk and not get crushed. And if it was someone else you saw the danger heading straight toward, you'd shout out to them, wouldn't you? Maybe even jump out and try to save them?

I should have known )

(923)
arrow_of_apollo: (Adama Father and Son)
166 - Do you believe in ghosts?

((A private letter, locked to [livejournal.com profile] admiral_adama. Contains spoilers for episode 3x15, "A Day in the Life".))

Visiting with ghosts )

(566)

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