[[livejournal.com profile] realmof_themuse] 2009.18.B.3 - Hallucinations

May. 7th, 2009 03:42 pm
arrow_of_apollo: (Either | Swimming A Place of Quiet)
[personal profile] arrow_of_apollo
2009.18.B.3 - Hallucinations

When I was shot down during the Battle of the Resurrection Ship, I had a hallucination. I was strapped to my seat, the broken bits of the Blackbird floating in space around me, and I was drifting fifty klicks away from the heat of the fighting. From my vantage point, I could watch the whole thing-- the space between Galactica, Pegasus and the Cylon Resurrection Ship turned into a burst beehive of furious movement.

At the same time, some of the shrapnel, some shattered bit of my ship, had cut through the leg of my flight suit, robbing me of oxygen by slow painful degrees. I'm pretty sure I was conscious most of the time, but I wasn't really there, either.

I was floating. Once, on a hike up into the mountains above Caprica City, I found a small lake and had gone for a swim. It was the most peaceful place I knew. So there, in the middle of probably dying, I was floating on that lake again. My arms were outstretched, and my sunglass-covered eyes were turned up into the endless blue sky and bright late spring sun. It was nearly silent, just the noise of a few insects and the cool lake water lapping up against my body.

Yes, I knew it wasn't real, but it was so easy to just float there, even when I started to hear voices calling me back.

It's not a hallucination any more.

I'd been hiking for almost a week, watching as the savannah had given way to rockier, more varied terrain. This world, this Earth was more varied in landscape than any of the Colonies we had left behind. From the hot deserts just a few hundred kilometers from where we landed to the just as rainless tundra at the poles, to everything in between. I knew I would see things that would amaze me.

I never knew I'd find my lake. The moment I crested that hill and heard the water, I started to hope. And there it was, the lake that had called to me and wrapped itself around me until I was almost ready to never leave.

Stripping down, I walked into the water, surprised at how warm the water was. I stretched out my arms and pulled my legs up and started to float. I took deep breaths, still floating. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift, as well.

I tried not to think of all the other people who were spreading out into this world, just like I am. I tried not to think of the people I would never see again.

I tried not to think of her... of Sharon.

She might have found her way into my mind at that moment, a new hallucination. The sound of another body sliding into the water, making ripples that reached me long before I heard her breathing, or felt her skin against mine.

When I opened my eyes, I was alone. I didn't spend long in that lake, but I did mark it on my map.

Hallucinations... they really aren't all that bad.

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